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“It works like this: Phrenology, as everyone knows, is a way of reading someone’s character, aptitude and abilities by examining the bumps and hollows on their head. Therefore, according to the kind of logical thinking that characterizes the Ankh-Morpork mind - it should be possible to mould someone’s character by giving them carefully graded pumps in all the right places. You can go into a shop and order an artistic temperament with tendency to introspection and a side order of hysteria. What you actually get is hit on the head with a selection of different size mallets, but it creates employment and keeps the money in circulation, and that’s the main thing.“

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